Homesick

There's nothing like being homesick during the holidays. I didnt think it would affect me to much because I was expecting cold weather for Christmas. I haven't had a truly cold Christmas in over 15 years. Florida doesn't typically get very cold at all during the winter, and I thought Texas would at least give me a more seasonable feel.

Well from everything I can tell, this Christmas will be unseasonably warm for this area. Got figure. Then to top it off this will be my first Christmas without my parents. I managed to survive my first thanksgiving without them with the help of my mother in law. But Christmas will be just me and J, most of our friends are going home so it will be a difficult one for me.

Then to top it off I am highly emotional for other reasons. We are officially trying to conceive, and are having more difficulty than we expected. Having gotten pregnant by chance before we truly didn't think we would that hard of a time. So I've been feeling like a bit of a failure recently.

It's difficult to see my friends who are getting pregnant and having little ones. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely happy and ecstatic for them, but I'm sad for me at the same time.

I know it will happen when the time is right, but that doesnt make it any easier. I was just really hoping to get pregnant before we head to Hawaii, and while I know we have some time yet, my hopes for that are starting to dwindle.

Hopefully my spirits will turn around soon. Afterall Christmas is my favorite time of the year.